Book review: Ace by Angela Chen

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

by Angela Chen

Finished reading: 01/10/21

My rating: 5/5 stars

“It’s easy to say that sex is important and it’s harder to be vulnerable enough to say that sex is important because a lack of sex creates fear and insecurity.”

Ace is a non-fiction book that explores sexual attraction and how asexuality intersects with the various complexities surrounding sex and society. The book is layered with stories from many people who identify as asexual and allows them a space to share their experiences of living in and navigating a world of compulsory sexuality.

I absolutely adored this book! I rarely feel inclined to reach for non-fiction, but this seemed too important to ignore. After reading it, I feel so much more passionately about just how important it really is. As someone who is probably much more familiar with the concept of asexuality than the average member of the public, I cannot tell you how much I learnt. I went through a good hundred sticky tabs highlighting all the parts I need to research further. This book really has the potential to alter the perspectives of how people perceive the world and for that reason I will be recommending it to everyone I know!

I really appreciate how this book went beyond simply a handbook explanation but took time to explore the intersections of gender and asexuality, race and asexuality, disability and asexuality, aromanticism and asexuality, consent and asexuality, relationships and asexuality. These weren’t covered as a token gesture but deeply and critically analysed in a philosophical way.

Chen approaches such a messy and complicated subject in such a clear, precise, and accessible way. Her research is rigorous both in terms of academic material as well as interviewing ace individuals. I loved that she covered all the facts in a disciplined way whilst also taking time to open up about her own experience with asexuality too. The balance between these two things was executed perfectly, making the experience both educational and moving.

The journey of this book was fascinating to me. Chen’s thoughts were structured very logically and so easy to follow. One of my fears of reading non-fiction is becoming lost in the text and too disinterested to keep going. But I didn’t experience this at any single point. On every page I knew it’s exact purpose in the context of the whole book and I felt thoroughly engaged from start to finish. Chen didn’t choose to dumb down the content for which I was extremely grateful as the topic’s complexity deserved to be reflected. She also didn’t choose to look down on the reader either, like so many academic texts seem to do. Chen’s writing style is more conversational, like a one-ended script, you read one passage and think of a question, and she answers it on the next page. She offers her opinion but doesn’t shove it down your throat. I really commend Chen as a writer and her approach to this topic.

One of the things I loved most of all was the emphasis on identity being a fluid and changing thing. Not an obligation, commitment or a means of being trapped. Labels are so often used as a means to segregate and confine but Chen beautifully presents how the ace community has used a label to find one another and come together. I think this idea of fluidity would be applied well to many other aspects of our identities too.

Chen also presents a very hopeful future for ace individuals. She addresses the undertones of sadness and sense of loss experienced by ace people but focuses on the bright side and ways in which the ace lifestyle can be happy, satisfying and celebrated. We so often overlook the power of feeling seen and the importance of instilling hope in those that have for so long been convinced they are broken and excluded.

This book gave me the rare and wonderful experience of finishing the book and feeling like a different person to who I was when I started. It truly opened my eyes to the corners of the society so often shut away from public interest and forced me to reflect on my own identity and experiences. I am appalled by the lack of ace visibility and representation and am so grateful that this book exists to hopefully change this. Everyone can learn something from this book regardless of how you identify, and I hope that it can lead to more important and challenging conversations in the future.